What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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