What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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