What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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