What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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