What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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