What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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