What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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