What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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