What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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