What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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