What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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