What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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