What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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