What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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