What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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