What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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