What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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