What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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