What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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