What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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