What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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