What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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