What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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