What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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