What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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