What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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