What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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