What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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