What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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