What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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