What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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