What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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