What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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