What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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