What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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