What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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