What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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