What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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