What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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