What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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