What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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