What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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