What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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