What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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