What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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