What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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