What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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