What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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