What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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