What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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