What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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