What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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