What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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