What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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