What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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