What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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