What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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