What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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