What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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