What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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