What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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