What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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