What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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