What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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