What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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