What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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