What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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