What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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