What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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