What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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