What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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