What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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