What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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