What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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