What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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