What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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