What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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