What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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