What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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