What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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