What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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