What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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