What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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