What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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