What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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