What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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