What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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