What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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