What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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