What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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