What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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