What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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