What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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