Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
or
A porcupine with split ends
or
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
or
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
or