What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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