What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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