What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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