What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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