What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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