What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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