What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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