What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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