What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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