What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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