What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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