What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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