What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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