What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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