What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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