What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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