What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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