What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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