What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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