What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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