What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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