What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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