What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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