What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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