What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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