What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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