What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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