What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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