What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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