What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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