What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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