What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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