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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?
None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
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How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
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