What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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