What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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