What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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