What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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