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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has the most stories.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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