What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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