What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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