What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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