What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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