What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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