What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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