What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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