What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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