What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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