What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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