What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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