What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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