What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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