What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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