What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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