What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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