What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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