What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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