What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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