What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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