What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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