What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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