What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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