What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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