What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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