What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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