What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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