What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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