What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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