What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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