What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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