What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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