What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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