What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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