What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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