What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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