What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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