What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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