What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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