What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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