What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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