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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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When did the fly fly?
When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
Me-ow
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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