What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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