What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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