What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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