What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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