What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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