What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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