What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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