What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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