What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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