What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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