What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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