What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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