What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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