What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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