What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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