What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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