What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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