What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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