What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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