What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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