What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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