What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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