What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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