What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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