What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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