What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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