What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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