What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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