What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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