What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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