What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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