What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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