What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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