What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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