What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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