What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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