What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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