What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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