What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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