What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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