What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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