What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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