What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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