What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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