What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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