What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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