What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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