What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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