What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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