What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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