What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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