What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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