What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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