What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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