What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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