What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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