What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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