What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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