What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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