What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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