What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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