What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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