What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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