What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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