What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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