What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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