What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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