What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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