What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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