What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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