What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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