What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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