What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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