What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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