What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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