What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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