What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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