What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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