What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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