What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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