What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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