What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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