What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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