What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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