What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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