What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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