What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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