What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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