What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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