What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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