What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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