What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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