What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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