What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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