What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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