What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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