What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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