What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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