What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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