What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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