What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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