What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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