What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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