What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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