What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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