What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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