What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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