What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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