What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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