What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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