What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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