What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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