What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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