What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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