What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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