What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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