What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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