What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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