What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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