What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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