What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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