What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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