What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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