What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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