What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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