What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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