What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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