What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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