What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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