What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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