What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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