What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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