What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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