What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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