What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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