What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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