What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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