What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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