What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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