What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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