What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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