What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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