What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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