What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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