What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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