What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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