What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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