What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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