What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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