What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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