What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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