What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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