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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A hot dog
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the cucumber call 911?
It was in a pickle!
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