What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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