What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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