What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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