What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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