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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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