What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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