What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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