What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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