What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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