What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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