What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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