What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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