What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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