What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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