What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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