What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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