What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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