What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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