What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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