What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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