What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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