What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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