What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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