What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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