What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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