What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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