What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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