What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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