What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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