What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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