What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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