What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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