What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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