What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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