What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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