What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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