What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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