What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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