What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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