What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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