What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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