What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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