What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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