What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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