What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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