What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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