What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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