What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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