What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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