What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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