What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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