What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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