What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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