What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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