What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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