What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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