What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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