What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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