What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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