What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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