What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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