What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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