What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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