What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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