What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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