What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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