What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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