What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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