What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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