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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, but they're really only one.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?
he got a little behind in his work.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?
A luna-tick
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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