What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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