What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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