What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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