What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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