What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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