What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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