What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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