What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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