What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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