What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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