What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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