What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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