What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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