What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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