What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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