What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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