What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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