What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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