What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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