What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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