What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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