What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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