What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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