What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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