What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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