What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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