What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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