What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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