What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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