What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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