What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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