What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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