What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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