What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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