What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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