What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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