What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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