What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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