What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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