What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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