What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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