What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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