What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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