What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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