What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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