What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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