What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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