What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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