What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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