What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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