What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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