What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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