What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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