What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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