What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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