What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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