What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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