What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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