What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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