What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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