What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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