What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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