What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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