What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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