What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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