What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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