What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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