What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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