What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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