What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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