What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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