What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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