What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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