What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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