What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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