What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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