What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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