What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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