What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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