What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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