What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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