What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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