What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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