What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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