What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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