What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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