What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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