What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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