What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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