What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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A seal walks into a club...
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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