What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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A seal walks into a club...
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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