What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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