What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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