What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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