What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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