What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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