What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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