What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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