What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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