What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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