What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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