What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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