What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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