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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Want to hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?
By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make a rock float?
Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No I deer
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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