What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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