What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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