What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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