What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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