What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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