What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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