What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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