What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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