What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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