What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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