What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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