What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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