What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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