What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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