What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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