What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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