What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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