What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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