What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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