What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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