What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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