What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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