What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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