What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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