What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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