What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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