What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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