What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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