What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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