What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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