What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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