What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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