What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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