What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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