What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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