What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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