What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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