What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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