What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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