What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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