What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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