What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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