What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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