What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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