What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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