What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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