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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why did the student eat her homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A milkshake
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?
Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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