What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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