What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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