What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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