What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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