What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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