What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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