What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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