What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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