What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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A seal walks into a club...
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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