What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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