What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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