What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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