What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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