What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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