What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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