What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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