What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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