What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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