What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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