What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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