What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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