What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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