What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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