What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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