What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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