What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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