What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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