What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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