What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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