What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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