What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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