What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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