What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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