What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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