What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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