What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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