What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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