What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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