What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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