What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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