What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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