What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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