What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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