What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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