What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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