What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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