What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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