What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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