What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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