What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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