What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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