What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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