What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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