What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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