What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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