What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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