What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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