What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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