What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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