What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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