What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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