What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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