What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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