What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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