What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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