What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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