What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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