What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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