What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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