What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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