What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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