What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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