What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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