What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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