What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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