What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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