What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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