What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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