What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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