What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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