What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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