What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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