What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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