What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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