What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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