What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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