What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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