What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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