What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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