What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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