What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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