What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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