What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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