What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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