What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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