What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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