What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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