What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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