What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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