What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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