What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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