What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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