What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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