What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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