What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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