What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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