What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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