What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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