What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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