What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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