What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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