What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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