What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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