What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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