What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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