What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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