What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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