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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.
I decided to give it a shot!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
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Why did the thief take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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