What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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