What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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