What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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