What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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