What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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