What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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