What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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