What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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