What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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