What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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