What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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