What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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