What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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