What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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