What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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