What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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