A ruler.
or
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
or
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
or
His son, because he's a little Bigger!
or
The dentist is taking me out tonight.
or
A newspaper!
or
Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
or