What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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