What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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