What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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