What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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