What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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