What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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