What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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