What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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