What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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