What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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