What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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