What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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