What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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