What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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