What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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