What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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