What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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