What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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