What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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