What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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