What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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