What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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