What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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