What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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