What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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