What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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