What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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