What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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