What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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