What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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