What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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