What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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