What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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