What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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