What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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