What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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