What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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