What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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