What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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