What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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