What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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