What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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