What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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