What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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