What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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