What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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