What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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