What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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