What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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