What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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