What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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