What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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