What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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