What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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