What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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