What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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