What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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