What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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