What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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