What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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