What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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