What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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