What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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