What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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