What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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