Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
or
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
or
Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
or
Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
or
The sound of Mew-sic
or