What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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