What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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