What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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