What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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