What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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