What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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