What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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