What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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