What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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