What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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