What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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