What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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