What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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