What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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