What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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