What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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