What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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