What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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