What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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