What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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