What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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