What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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