What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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