What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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