What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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