What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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