What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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