What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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