What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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