What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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