What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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