What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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