What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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