What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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