What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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