What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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