What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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