What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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