What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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