What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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