What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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