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What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?
In Washington, D.C.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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