What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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