What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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