What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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