What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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