What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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