What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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