What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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