What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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