What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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