What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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