What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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