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What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is the strongest animal?
A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
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