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What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?
Cell phones
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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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