What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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