What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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