What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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