What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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