What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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