What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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