What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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