What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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