What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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