What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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