What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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