What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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