What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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