What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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