What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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