What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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