What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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