What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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