What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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