What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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