What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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