What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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