What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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