What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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