What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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