What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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