What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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