What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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