What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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