What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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