What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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