What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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