What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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