What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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