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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?
Fireballs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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