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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?
Nice belt!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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