What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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