What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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