What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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