What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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