What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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