What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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