What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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