What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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