What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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