What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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