What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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