What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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