What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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