What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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