What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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