What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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