What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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