What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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