What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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