What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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