What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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