What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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