What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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