What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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