What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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