What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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