What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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