What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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