What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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