What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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