What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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