What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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