What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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