What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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