What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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