What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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