What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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