What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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