What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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