What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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