What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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