What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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