What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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