What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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