What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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