What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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