What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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