What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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