What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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