What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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