What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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