What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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