What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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