What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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