What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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